What Am I Doing Differently?

I was in the middle of a private lesson, walking through Prospect Park with a couple and their dog.

The lesson was going great. We were starting to wrap up.

As we were walking out, the wife remarked how well her dog was doing.

The husband replied: "It probably has something to do with Louis being here."

He meant the dog was behaving better because I was there. The respect their dog was showing, listening carefully, sticking close to us, generally not acting like a wild beast, was apparently all because of me.

And he was partially right.

I've heard it countless times: "I wish my dog would listen to me the way they listen to you."

So what am I actually doing differently? I'm not special. I just keep four things in mind.

Practice, practice, practice

Your dog doesn't listen to me because I'm some dog whisperer. They listen because I'm clear, and I'm clear because I've put in the reps.

Confidence in communication comes from fluency. You can't confidently ask for something if you're stumbling on how to say it. In dog training, that fluency shows up in your leash skills, your timing, how you deliver a reward, how economical and precise you are with your cues.

Most people aren't lacking effort. They're lacking fluency. And fluency just takes practice.

Stay out of your feelings

If you think I walk into your house as some calm, unbothered robot, you're wrong.

I feel pressure too.

New dog. New environment. Sometimes it's early in the morning before anyone has fully woken up. Sometimes it's a Friday afternoon after a long week. Sometimes the dog is having an off day, or doesn't like the fact that I smell like other dogs, or just wants nothing to do with me. And I'm expected to get specific results in a tight time frame.

The difference isn't that I don't feel any of that. 

It's that I don't let it change how I communicate.

When your emotions go up, your clarity goes down. That's not a judgment, it's just what happens. The goal is to notice it and not let it bleed into your cues.

Be sincere

This goes for praise and correction both.

The level of praise should match the moment. If your dog sits at the corner for the fiftieth time while you watch traffic, a calm "good girl" is plenty. But if your dog recalls across an open field off leash for the first time? That should be a big deal. The kind of reaction that startles the people around you!

Correction works the same way, except it doesn't need volume at all. Done right, you can be quiet about it as long as you convey what you mean. The issue isn't loudness, it's sincerity.

What I try to do, and where a lot of people struggle, is in fully committing to whatever they're communicating. Whether it's because they're unsure of what they want, worried about what people around them think, or something else entirely, the dog feels the hesitation instantly.

Timely, sincere communication takes practice. But it's trainable.

Celebrate

I train dogs for a living. A big part of that is through the Magnetic Training Program, where I work with a dog one on one before transferring the results to the owner through private lessons.

And some of those sessions don't go the way I want.

The dog throws curveballs. 

Makes me rethink what I'm doing. 

Questions start creeping in about whether I'm reading this right, whether I'm using the right approach, whether I'm actually helping.

It would be easy to spiral.

Instead, I pause and find something worth celebrating. Something that went right during that session. Something me and the dog did together that can be marked as a win, even if it was small.

When you're working through real challenges with your dog, there's going to be self doubt and stress. That's not a sign you're doing it wrong. It's just part of the process.

But it has to be countered. Find something to celebrate so you can keep moving forward. Not to feel good. To stay in the game.

The truth is, your dog doesn't listen to me because of who I am.

They listen because in that moment, I'm clear, I'm consistent, and I'm committed.

Those aren't gifts. They're skills. And they can be built.

If you're feeling stuck with your dog, you probably don't need a different dog. You need a clearer way to communicate with the one you have.

Book a free discovery call and let's figure out where to start.